let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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