We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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