this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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