When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
