Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
