My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
