its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
that is very illegal...i love you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
