i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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