remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
They are going to name an STD after you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
