the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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