wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
