i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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