Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
