you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
