I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
