question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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