sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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