You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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