If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
