listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
