Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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