Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
