I'm going to jail i love you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
