i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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