i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This girl is more easily done than said...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
