He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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