he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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