Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
