his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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