Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
