Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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