Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Boobs are out for the taking
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
