i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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