whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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