week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
