Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
