I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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