should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
