if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
