i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
