you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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