I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
