In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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