A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
