GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
