They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
