we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
