I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
