Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
