Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
