So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
